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Mustafa Rasuli | Photography |
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| My new little sister | 3/19/2002 | |
| I woke up at around 8:30 at Mustafa hotel. I tucked my blanket into the corners of the bed last night. I had tasted the bitter cold of Kabul, when both my blankets made their way to the floor the night before. Last night I made sure that wouldn’t happen again. After washing up I went to the office and greeted my uncle and cousins who run Mustafa Hotel. I sat with my uncle for a while and then made my way to the TV room. I watched some TV and awaited a journalist who had made an appointment at 10am with me and my other uncle. She was doing a report on Afghans here from America and had already interviewed me two days before. I watched TV for a while and sat in front of my laptop and typed for a while. Weis, my cousin, came into the room and popped in Apocolypse Now. It was weird watching that movie and being in Afghanistan. I am uncomfortable with War. Whether Americans, Afghans, anybody else dies it seems a waste. I also understand that War is necessary at times, but I can never fully see that point of view. There is always a way other than War. My uncle came from his house and I went into the other room and sat with my two uncles for a while. They talked and I listened. After a while of them speaking business, I asked my uncle if I could borrow his Satellite phone and went to the roof. I called home at 10:30am here and it must have been around 12pm in Virginia. My mother answered the phone, half asleep, but somehow I know she knew it was me. Her voice and the way she said Salaam was full of hope, eager to hear my voice. “Salaam Madar,” I said. She was so happy to hear my voice. We talked for a while and she told me to be careful, and that she missed me a lot. I reassured her and told her not to worry. Your son is in good hands here in Afghanistan, and I wouldn’t get myself into any situation. All of a sudden from down below 4 stories down on the courtyard inside the main gates a voice asked whom I was talking to. An Afghan man in his 40’s I had met earlier in the hotel was asking if I was speaking to my family. He had earlier told me of how on the night before my father was jailed how he had tried to persuade my father and mother not to go to my mothers dad’s house, how it was dangerous. How he had then drove them with me in the car to the house in the dark of night and how later my father was captured. So he asked me to relay a message to my mother that he was here and he sends his heartfelt greetings. I asked him his name as I had forgotten. I told my mother and she responded warmly and told me to send her regards. I looked down at the Gilkar and he was still looking, I immediately told him to hurry and come upstairs. I spoke with my mother a while longer and the Gilkar appeared to my left. I told my mom to hold for a second and somebody wanted to talk to her. I handed the Gilkar the phone and they started saying hello. How is everybody he would say. He was squatting down on my left hand side. His hand was covering the mouthpiece so his voice would not get muffled by the wind and noise outside. He quited after a few moments and his voice started to break. I knew my mother was crying on the other end. I could tell even when I spoke to my mother she was on the verge of crying. But the rush of memories from the Gilkar was like a tidal wave to my mothers heart. They said a couple more things and he handed the phone back to me. He was emotional as well and thanked me and walked away. I got back on the phone with my mother and spoke with her a while longer. She asked about how my cousins were doing, the ones that were running the hotel, and I looked to my left and Weis was sitting there. I told my mother to wait for a second and handed the phone to him. They spoke for a while and the same scene repeated itself. Weis assured my mother that her “nazdana” precious and spoiled son was in safe hands. Another Afghan was walking by and he and I both laughed when we heard this. He handed the phone back to me. My uncle and I tried to go see the Minister of Health but she was not there so we left and went back to his house. The car parked on the outside of the mud house. I got out of the car, looked up and there was my little sister. Sheila was looking outside the bars of the upstairs window right above the door. She left the window and her and Lida her younger sister came and greeted me at the door. They stood there and waited for me to walk inside the dark hallway. Lida the younger sister, was now my buddy too, her shyness was gone, and felt safe with me. I talked with them for a while and they both were still to shy to answer. “how are you?” My little sister had run downstairs without her Chadar and so had little Lida. I hadn’t seen them until now without their chadar on their head. My little sister had beautifull long wavy hair. I went inside and the same things took place. People would come and visit my uncle and we would stand when they came, greet them, and then sit back down. I brought tea and finally exused myself and went into the courtyard. There I saw lida and her little brother playing. She saw me and started smiling, I played with them for a while and then Sheila came into the courtyard too. They had a large container of water and I had just finished washing up. I grabbed a cup filled it with water and started playing with the kids. Running after them and throwing water at them. This continued for about 5 minutes. I was happy that at least I could make the kids forget about all the destruction and make them happy for a little while. I told them to get ready and that we were going to go and get some icecream. At first they did not want to go. They said no, it’s ok. I could tell that they did not want to ask anything from me, but only wanted my company. I told them that this was an order that they were to get ready, ask for permission and bring all their little brothers and sisters along. By the time everybody gathered in front of the house there were about 10 kids. I started walking with all of them and Sheila and I led the way. She knew where the place was and I walked next to her. On the way we talked for while, and then got closer to the Ice-cream shop. Sheila looked at me and said the ice cream place was closed. I turned to her and said no problem we’d come back another time. I was so happy to be surrounded by so many beautifull kids. I looked at each of them and hoped that by the time, childhood innocence left them, they would see a different Afghanistan. I played with them for a while amongst the cemeteries right outside the house. We played soccor and an army of kids joined in. I would dribble away and then wait for the 20 kids to come after me. Then I would dribble again, and the 20 kids would come after me, finally I got stuck in the corner and tried to get out. I ran real hard and was stopped in my tracks by a boy, he kicked the ball as my legs were outstretched and I was off balance. I fell flat on my face. No more soccor for me. Lida and Sheila came running over and asked if I was ok. Lida was laughing at me, but in a very nice way, I laughed with her. I bothered her and told her that instead of helping me get back up she laughed at me, and that now I wasn’t going to be her friend. It didn’t phase her, she knew I was kidding, and kept laughing. They followed me inside the house into the courtyard and walked with me all the way to the room. I said goodbye and told them I had to go sit with everyone. It was getting dark outside and we didn’t have any supplies for dinner. My cousin, abu bakr, another fellow from the house and myself jumped into a taxi and went on our way. We entered the same market I described earlier. We went and bought some eggs, 18. We went to the “nan bayee” or bakery and bought some bread, 15. While buying bread there was three ladies in dirty and torn and worn down chadaries. The clothes under the chadaries were filthy as well. She looked at us as we bought 15 breads, the other guy from the house that came with me, took one of the breads and gave each of them a share. While he was breaking the bread, I was trying to find the money in my pocket. I gave each of them some money, and each of them thanked me in such a way as to make me ashamed of the small amount of money I had given them. We bought some small tomatoes, and because of the lack of light, we probably got about 5 bad tomatoes. We bought some onions and potatoes. Our hands were full by now and we walked back to the taxi waiting for us. We put the stuff inside and I excused myself and ran back to the market which was on the other side of the street. I looked for some sort of toy store or something, but found a pastry and delicacy shop. I bought a kilo of cookies. Back at the house, the taxi drove up to the house. I walked out and lo and behold my sisters Sheila and Lida were waiting for me at the door with a lantern. The lights had gone out or were not turned on yet for that part of the city. See, right now we only get electricity from 8pm until 5pm then only the business districts get electricity. My little sisters smiled when they saw me and asked me where I had gone. I told them to the market and handed them the bag of cookies. To my surprise they wouldn’t take it. No they said, thanks but it’s ok. I tried to give it to Lida and she didn’t take it either. I told them it’s nothing, just a gift from me, take it. They wouldn’t, they just kept smiling, not a regular smile, but when you are really just happy smile. Finally abu bakr my cousin screamed from inside the courtyard and said take the bag. I looked at my little sister Sheila and put the bag in her hands. They went upstairs. I was in the courtyard for a while, and Lida came running. She stopped in front of me and asked me if I was staying here tonight. I told her, I didn’t think so, and that I was going to the hotel. She looked at me still smiling and asked me to stay. “Amenga show basheen” After hearing her ask me, there was nothing in the world that would make me leave. I looked at her and told her that because of her beatifull smile I’d stay the night here. |
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